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how do you compose yourself in anger
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[QUOTE="milady, post: 4856080, member: 41005"] Here are some interesting ideas (not mine obviosly) about how to handle anger ;) Everyone experiences anger. The ability to express negative feelings in a constructive and positive manner is essential to positive physical and mental health. Listed below are steps you can take to express and handle your anger effectively. · Recognize your anger. Admit to yourself that you are angry. Know how you are when you get angry. What are thesigns? · Calm down. The old adage of "take a deep breath and count to ten" really works. Tell yourself that you can deal with the situation more effectively if you are calm. Decide not to act on the situation until you have calmed down. · Use a sounding board. If there is a neutral person you can talk to about why you are angry, it may help you to determine if you are interpreting the situation accurately. · Identify your fears. What fears has the source of your anger caused? · Reappraise the situation. Give yourself a chance to see if the situation that caused your anger is as bad as you first thought. · Don't avoid the issue. Don't allow anger to build up and interfere with later situations or circumstances. After you have reappraised the situation decide to confront it or let it go. · Examine your options. Identify the different ways you might respond to the situation and the potential outcomes that might result. · Decide how you will respond. Determine the response that will result in the most positive outcomes for you and others over the long run. · Respond assertively rather than aggressively. Express yourself firmly without making insulting remarks or trying to put someone on the defensive. Work to resolve the problem rather than to win. · Learn to fight fairly. If someone has done or said something to make you angry, tell them that it has and that you want to discuss it. State specifically what the person has said or done, why it has made you angry, and what you expect to rectify the situation. Ask the person if he or she understands why you are angry and to state his or her understanding of the situation. Ask the person to work with you toward a resolution of the problem. · Avoid displacing your anger. Because the energy of anger wants to be released, there is a tendency to displace anger onto people who are not the source of your anger. This will only make things worse. If you are angry with a business, agency, office or department, ask to talk with someone in charge to express your anger. Avoid displacing your anger onto an unsuspecting clerk. · Use desensitization for recurring anger. Sometimes when you become very angry about a situation or with another person, you may experience feelings of anger each time you encounter the person or situation again. Your anger response is automatic and learned and can interfere with your ability to act cooperatively in future circumstances. A counselor can teach you desensitization methods to eliminate your automatic anger response. · Use humor, physical exercise or other enjoyable activities to release pent-up anger. Sometimes you experience minor irritations or problems that cannot be resolved, or the timing is not right to confront the source of your anger. Finding constructive ways to release your tension can help you to move on or to deal more effectively with the source of your anger when the time is right. · Seek help. [/QUOTE]
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how do you compose yourself in anger
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