In addition, many tourists do not even try start the conversation with a few words of French ("excusez-moi, je ne parle pas français" or something) and speak directly in English. For many of us French, this is almost perceived as an insult because our country has a history of fighting against americanization (even though yes, we're pretty happy you saved our ass during our wars). By talking with many people who've been to Paris, I've observed that these few introductory words can really make a difference.
A surprisingly high number of people who've told me they've "visited" France actually have only been to Paris a few days to see a few monuments and have had a few superficial interactions with overworked, tired and stressed workers. And then they make up their minds about French people (and then they meet ME and say, "oh actually French people can be pretty cool!" ^^).
However I completely acknowledge the fact that we're already deep down in the vicious circle and many Parisians aren't making any effort anymore, and they SHOULD.
2) French people tend to build connection through sarcasm. It's like they're tickling you and seeing if you're going to laugh or freak out. It's just our humor, it's an unspoken way of saying "I'm giving you an opportunity to act as if we were already friends, by letting you laugh at my sarcasm like you would from any of your friends. I'm attempting to eliminate the distance between us." Many people perceive that as arrogant because they don't understand it. The same thing goes for seemingly megalomaniac statements ("French people are the best in the world"). Just look at how critical French people are of their own country (even on this forum thread) and you'll understand that in 95% of cases, these statements are not to be taken seriously.
3) The French society is very united (very little use of dialects, no really independent regions, strong principles of universalism that in theory people cherish), and very divided at the same time. We are not really taught to love our own country and doing so is perceived as chauvinist. We are very critical and therefore we criticize those around us, who in turn critisize us and we critisize them even more. We are also in the middle of an "identity crisis" as they call it in French media. We are wondering what being French means, when 5,000 of our own citizens take arms to go fight against their own country in the name of a terrorist organization. Therefore a lot of French people are criticizing France and perpetuating the idea that French people are assholes.
A surprisingly high number of people who've told me they've "visited" France actually have only been to Paris a few days to see a few monuments and have had a few superficial interactions with overworked, tired and stressed workers. And then they make up their minds about French people (and then they meet ME and say, "oh actually French people can be pretty cool!" ^^).
However I completely acknowledge the fact that we're already deep down in the vicious circle and many Parisians aren't making any effort anymore, and they SHOULD.
2) French people tend to build connection through sarcasm. It's like they're tickling you and seeing if you're going to laugh or freak out. It's just our humor, it's an unspoken way of saying "I'm giving you an opportunity to act as if we were already friends, by letting you laugh at my sarcasm like you would from any of your friends. I'm attempting to eliminate the distance between us." Many people perceive that as arrogant because they don't understand it. The same thing goes for seemingly megalomaniac statements ("French people are the best in the world"). Just look at how critical French people are of their own country (even on this forum thread) and you'll understand that in 95% of cases, these statements are not to be taken seriously.
3) The French society is very united (very little use of dialects, no really independent regions, strong principles of universalism that in theory people cherish), and very divided at the same time. We are not really taught to love our own country and doing so is perceived as chauvinist. We are very critical and therefore we criticize those around us, who in turn critisize us and we critisize them even more. We are also in the middle of an "identity crisis" as they call it in French media. We are wondering what being French means, when 5,000 of our own citizens take arms to go fight against their own country in the name of a terrorist organization. Therefore a lot of French people are criticizing France and perpetuating the idea that French people are assholes.
