I am shocked
- Initiateur de la discussion Assendou
- Date de début
lol it's still better than find out your gf was once a transexual
Should I feel betrayed?
It meant an awful lot to me while it lasted.
Now...
Erolisk
VIB
It's quite normal to feel betrayed... at first.
The good thing is, that the problem is with her not you..
So, this only let you one solution, which is to MOVE ON.. let it happen man! move on with your life.. have a little faith, it's not the end of the world.
How should I put it?... The discovery was made at an early stage. But still I loved her, and I still do. I was totally infatuated with her.
I was blinded by her charm, her kindness, her smile all of her.
She didnt choose to be bright and sweet. She didnt choose to be what she is. A woman.
We are adults of a certain age. Not young anyway.
Sex wasnt that important during the first three months.
Intimacy was not yet on the agenda, if I may say so. Because we didnt meet so often. And we dont live in the same city either
Its not that simple. I mean how should I break it to her? She doesnt know yet that Im aware of this delicate matter.
You see! Im stuck.
Bear in mind that she has feelings for me, and I am certainly not going to hurt them.
In a sense, and to be honest, I feel somehow guilty. Why? Because she never tried to seduce me or came with any suggestions in that area. It was me who fell in love with her. Its all in my head.
Its a real mess. Isnt it?
I keep asking myself: How wrong is it to be who you want to be? Who is to blame? Who should be guilty? Who am I to judge?...
Most of us have experienced guilt at some point in our lives. Havent we?
I wish I were wise enough to let it go but I cant.
Erolisk
VIB
Total mess..
Truly speaking, one cannot give a useful advice since he's never experienced the same thing, and i'm totaly sure very few of us got to handle such an extra delicate situation...
Nonetheless i can assure you one thing, in important relationships, sincerity is the key.. whatever complex the situation is, it would be resolved in a less harmful of way for both of you... so good luck.
Well, if you didn't notice before, even if you were intimate (which I presume), then she's physically a girl now after she was subjected to gender-transforming surgery, right? Unless you want children from her -- which is impossible for genetic reasons --, and if you still love each others, you both could still live a happy and fulfilled life. It needs serious psychological adjustment, but it's not unheard of. But that's up to you both to decide.
Just one point: please don't be too angry at her. She's likely to be emotionally very vulnerable if rejected for what she was previously and tried so hard to become someone else. You know what I mean?
So don't tell her (at least for now) and try to adjust yourself to this new situation. You seem to have at least as many problems with this as she, so try to sort them out by yourself, until you know what you want.
Why should you feel guilty? She wanted to receive and give love as a girl/woman, and she wouldn't have allowed it if she wasn't aware of the risks that her lover discovering her little secret would incur.
No, that's just love, in all its multifaceted glory. If it was supposed to happen, it happens. You can't do anything about it.
There's no guilt in love. It's a natural reaction, take (or leave) it as it is. Don't let moral or ethical considerations poison your very own feelings, and listen only to your heart. Usually (but not always), it's your spontaneous gut reaction that knows best. If you feel that you really love her, go ahead, stay with her. If you feel betrayed and/or queasy about it, break up (but as gently and slowly as possible: be considerate and compassionate!). It's your and only your decision to make.
Again, listen to your heart, and remember that you have plenty of time to adjust. There's no hurry or reason to panic.
A tiny background
Lena (is her name) dedicates her life to help others. She works as a nurse in an old peoples home. Thats where I met her. She was the one who took care of my ex-father in law. He was dying of old age.
Five days later, she rang me and said: He didnt suffer a bit. I believed her. With a smile like hers, its a pleasure to take the very last ride into nothingness.
Its me who is vulnerable in her eyes, knowing where I came from. Its me who is at war here. War against the prejudices I drowned in since birth. I believe thats one of the reasons for her worries, and silence.
I sensed a strange feeling once, when she looked at me and said: Love me enough to let me be me. I didnt understand then. Now I do. Eight months later.
Women, I had a few, but none of her calibre.
Right now, courage to face the outcome of this unusual reality is not what I have in abundance.
I appreciate you concern. (All of you). I really do.
Lena (is her name) dedicates her life to help others. She works as a nurse in an old peoples home. Thats where I met her. She was the one who took care of my ex-father in law. He was dying of old age.
Five days later, she rang me and said: He didnt suffer a bit. I believed her. With a smile like hers, its a pleasure to take the very last ride into nothingness.
Its me who is vulnerable in her eyes, knowing where I came from. Its me who is at war here. War against the prejudices I drowned in since birth. I believe thats one of the reasons for her worries, and silence.
I sensed a strange feeling once, when she looked at me and said: Love me enough to let me be me. I didnt understand then. Now I do. Eight months later.
Women, I had a few, but none of her calibre.
Right now, courage to face the outcome of this unusual reality is not what I have in abundance.
I appreciate you concern. (All of you). I really do.
Thank you for explaining. This makes things a lot clearer (at least to me).
Still... I'm pretty sure Lena, despite her display of confidence (this was her special gift for you who needed comfort and reassurance at this painful point in time), is just as vulnerable than you are. You know, the tears of the soul flow inwardly.
Whatever you decide, please remember that true love is as rare as diamonds, and that it is very silly to turn your back to it... for you or your partner may never find it again later in your or her life. Some thinned down masquerade of love, probably, but never again the Real Thing.
Thank you for these words of wisdom.
I’m deeply touched.
Talk of putting things in perspective!!!
Lena deems unnecessary to make any rationalization for the time being “Let things lie” she said.
As I said earlier, she dedicates her life to help humans both on their way into life and on their way out of it. She does it by collecting money from the elderly. Especially those who have no relatives to inherit whatever they have left after they’ve gone. And then she flies to India or Uruguay where she has been supporting physically and mentally incapacitated children, for the last ten years.
Beside her, I feel small. I’m only a human being, whereas Lena is a human doing.
“Some women have it all”.
where did u meet ur girl?in a bar?
"God works in mysterious ways"
I should hade written "have been a man". Before going through gender transformation surgery.
Take your time and read from the beginning.
Au contraire, je fais des efforts pour apprendre l’anglais.
Puisque tu as apparement compris que c’était de l’anglais,
tu aurais du corriger ma première phrase. (On dit: I should have et pas I should hade).Ma confusion vient du fait que jai plus l’habitude d’utiliser. »hade » qui signifie (et qui se prononce, 8adé« avais/avait/avaient...etc.
Ex.
Jag hade = J’avais
Vi hade = Nous avions
Ni hade = Vous aviez.
Je me debrouille mieux en cette langue. Mais c’est du Suèdois.
Ne me remercies pas pour cette lecon.
It's for free!
blague qu'on a entendu des dizaine de fois !
Muslima1994
جنة جنة م
You have to speak in English here!!!!
Thank you!
I should have said that.
Feel free to write whatever suits you best. But please do it in English. And if the story is kind of fiction for you,. Well, tough titties!
bad luck buddy. Maybe in 10 years time when you have a wife and children you can think back to it and laugh.
misslolly
Meant to be UNIQUE :)
First, I am sorry for your disappointment and shock....... But yet, most people falsify stuffs, including gender and virginity because of relgion, culture and society...... Next time, use your hands and thoroughly inspect your date.