My 1st novel

Playfana

Kayna Dorouf....
Hi everyone

its been a long time i've
not been on the forum...I really miss the trivial discussions and the acute arguments every now and then...

Well, I'm launching myself into writing...
Yes it's a child dream and I guess it is time for it to break through on the surface

It is with a great pleasure that I sahre with you a little excerpt of it...

the first 10 lines

I'm planning to publish it on the Kindle Amazon Store and also I will submit it to some local editors. who knows maybe I could come across a dreamy publisher....


Here you go...Ladies and Gentlemen....

Feel free ...please ...to comment....But don't be cruel however

Thx
 

Playfana

Kayna Dorouf....
-----Prologue----


Some aches might be healed with a mere talk….soul-ache, conscience torture, hearts’ wounds….

However, not the talk made up of advices, guidance recommendations or righteous opinions. But the talk you do with yourself. Plenty of avowals, confessions of what haunts you the most, even just to yourself on a piece of paper you throw in the garbage once you are done with it.

Pouring out the burden that squeezes the heart, unloading the weighting feelings that constrict the ribs, only this may set one free…

The leaking tear never goes to waste….it opens a huge window to allow the emotion to breathe.

The sour laugh releases the soul from its chukkles…

And the sigh gives you wings…

With tears, laughs and sighs speak the pages of this book.

Those are chosen stories from different people I’ve met…many who suffered…thought…stayed up all night long… then mocked life and themselves….

Some of these stories are funny…

Some are hysterical…

All of them, as we do, carry their own pile of strangeness…
 

Playfana

Kayna Dorouf....
---Story Number I----


My dream was to marry an educated woman…with a bachelor…with a high degree…so she understands me…and I understand her. We’ll share the pain, the joy, we’ll hold tight before the hardships of life…

The dream came true…Alas

I found myself sharing my existence with an odd woman…a person who spent five years at the university of Arts…Where she learnt one art…that of how to beat a man…

She speaks with tact…wears classy…plays golf…knows the piano…reads books…and is never satisfied…

If I asked her where she goes she accuses me of lack of trust…

If I trust her she yells at me that I’m not as jealous as a true man who truly loves his wife…






I'll carry on depending on the replies
 
A

AncienMembre

Non connecté
Oh, Lawd (= Lord)! :D For God sake, keep your stories for your diaries, it's lame!

You're planning to write a book, not a fake thread for moroccan retards in bladi.net.
 

Playfana

Kayna Dorouf....
Hi
Glad to read from you even though youve been pretty too much sarcastic

Iwas looking forward to read remarks n notes not jokes of my letting me live my dream

By the way
Knows the piano is totally correct as a sentence and it has been put in that way expressively...as a matter of a fact it hit u on the face....it looked weird...but u can not deny u did not get the meaning
 

Playfana

Kayna Dorouf....
Misszara please can u explain further more in which way u think it is lame ?
I mean what didnt u like? The style the words the construction?
Thank u
 

cuty-pie

Modérateur
Modérateur
We were not making fun of you. We were just teasing you:)......what you need to understand that when you submit your writing to the publishing world or to us for exemple :D....you are inviting people (or us)to judge your work;).

Welcome to the real world of writing.....except of course if you re writing for yoursel or because you love to write then there is no "bad" or " good " writing !!!!

Anywho I wish you best of luck .....and I will be enjoying reading you!!!:cool:
 

Sora

Life is full of beauty
VIB
J'ai bien aimé le prologue, c certainement certaines généralités tirées de plusieurs expériences, certains conseils ou un point de vue (plus particulier) ... Mais ça me parait, plus un journal intime ou des pensées éparpillées que un vrai travail d'un écrivain... est ce le commencement? le début d'une vraie histoire bien ficelée ?
Dans tous les cas bon courage pour la suite ! Good luck (i'm sorry that i don't respond u in english, it's simply because i master french better then english )
 
I advise you to simply write your novel and not be too concerned of a specific target or gender..... just write for yourself.... and by the way, your female likes to shoot ballz (golf) huh ?
 

Playfana

Kayna Dorouf....
Happy to read your replies

Well, A honest advice is always welcome

Lemme tell you that the purpose behind posting a thread about it was a kind of appraisal of what kind of reaction it could make

if you'd like to I can post the whole first story so I can improve through your critics
 

Imesch

Solipsist
Why don't you post your novel on forums where you'll have more english readers ? I'm saying that hoping that you've already thought about it and even already done it, otherwise you deserve all the sarcasm you get here.
 

Sora

Life is full of beauty
VIB
Why don't you post your novel on forums where you'll have more english readers ? I'm saying that hoping that you've already thought about it and even already done it, otherwise you deserve all the sarcasm you get here.
ne soit pas si méchant :p laisse le nous raconter la suite :)
 

Sora

Life is full of beauty
VIB
Happy to read your replies

Well, A honest advice is always welcome

Lemme tell you that the purpose behind posting a thread about it was a kind of appraisal of what kind of reaction it could make

if you'd like to I can post the whole first story so I can improve through your critics

The only things that i can be afraid of, is someone or others who can steal ur work :p it's a public platform
so if u want only to give a try u're welcome but to publish the whole story...
Judging my level i'm not sure to have the qualification to provide u a good critique/critic but maybe others can be more helpful ...
Viel Glück !
 

farid_h

<defunct>
Contributeur
My dream was to marry an educated woman…with a bachelor…with a high degree…so she understands me…and I understand her. We’ll share the pain, the joy, we’ll hold tight before the hardships of life…

The dream came true…Alas

I found myself sharing my existence with an odd woman…a person who spent five years at the university of Arts…Where she learnt one art…that of how to beat a man…

Sounds like a good beginning. But I'd lighten up. It's way too... how should I put it? ... pedantic? Try to write in a more colloquial style.
 
Hi everyone

its been a long time i've
not been on the forum...I really miss the trivial discussions and the acute arguments every now and then...

Well, I'm launching myself into writing...
Yes it's a child dream and I guess it is time for it to break through on the surface

It is with a great pleasure that I sahre with you a little excerpt of it...

the first 10 lines

I'm planning to publish it on the Kindle Amazon Store and also I will submit it to some local editors. who knows maybe I could come across a dreamy publisher....


Here you go...Ladies and Gentlemen....

Feel free ...please ...to comment....But don't be cruel however

Thx
Hello , I loved your words and you touched my deepest feelings in my deepest heart. Keep writing. Don't care if they make fun of you because you are writing with your feelings. You are really comfortable when you take your pencil and start writing inspiring words . Are you Moroccan ? Please let me know your reply . Thank you and Good luck !
 
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