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The lightbulb jokes thread
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[QUOTE="farid_h, post: 9016809, member: 92820"] Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I've just cashed up. Q: How many Censors does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to ---- ------- ----- and another to ---- ----- ---- while ---- ---- - - -----with a ------ Q: How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb? A: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork. Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The invisible hand does it. A: None. "There is no need to change the lightbulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place. Recent surveys show growing confidence in the lightbulb lighting up again." A: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter !!! Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study. A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday. Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah !" and throw his hat in the air. Q: How many IKEA shop assistans does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Sorry, we ran out of light bulb stock. We expect it to arrive early next month. We do have ladders though! You just go straight on, then left and then right. No, thanks, anytime." Q: How many inner-city gang members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Four-one to rob the liquor store to get money for the bulb, one to drive the getaway car, one to screw it in, and one to hold his crack pipe while he does it. Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye Q: How many waitresses does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. Two to stand around bitching about it and one to go get the manager. Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place. [/QUOTE]
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The lightbulb jokes thread
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