Corriger des fautes

G

gantz

BONJOUR à tous et merci de prendre le temps de me répondre. Voila j'ai un que vous m'aidez à corriger mes fautes dans se texte:
One day , when I was invite to my cousin birthday , my cousin , my brother and me lefts home to go out...
A lot of children were playing with rock...It was a battle !!But at a moment the children annoyed my brother and he runs after one boy !!It was a very big race into the city !!After a fiew moment my brother was not income...A girl said to me that Florian, my brother was kidnap by two men !!
I looked for my brother during two hours but nothing...I started crying...I thouhgt that it was my fault...The best brother of the world disappeared !!Suddenly ; a car stopped in front of me and one man released..I was scared and I had run as far as I can...
Hidden in a tree I waited that the car disappears...I took the road back and tried what i will tell to my mother about my little brother...I was in tears.In the stairway I took my time because I was afraid to see the reaction of my mother.Opening the door and i saw my brother who playing card quietly !!I was relieved !!!In reality nobody had kidnapped Florian...He had simply hungry and he came back to home ..If he knew how I was afraid...
Merci encore!
 
01Asia

01Asia

Je trouve qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup de fautes. Voilà comment j'aurai corrigé, mais n'hésite pas à demander à d'autres personnes pour vérifier au cas où:

One day , when I was invited to my cousin's birthday , my cousin , my brother and myself left home to go out...
A lot of children were playing with rock...It was a battle !!But at the moment the children annoyed my brother and he was running after one boy !!It was a very big race into the city !!After a few moment my brother was not income...A girl said to me that Florian, my brother was kidnapped by two men !!
I looked for my brother during two hours but nothing...I started crying...I thought that it was my fault...The best brother of the world disappeared !!Suddenly, a car stopped in front of me and one man released..I was scared and I run as far as I could...
Hidden in a tree I waited that the car disappears...I took the road back and I was thinking about what I will tell to my mother about my little brother...I was in tears.In the stairway I took my time because I was afraid to see the reaction of my mother.Opening the door, I saw my brother who was playing card quietly !!I was relieved !!!In reality nobody had kidnapped Florian...He was simply hungry and then he came back to home ..If he knew how I was afraid...
 
B

babouze

Azul
01Asia à dit:
Je trouve qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup de fautes. Voilà comment j'aurai corrigé, mais n'hésite pas à demander à d'autres personnes pour vérifier au cas où:

One day , when I was invited to my cousin's birthday , my cousin , my brother and I left home to go out...
A lot of children were playing with rocks...It was a battle !!But at one moment the children annoyed my brother and he was running after one boy !!It was a very big race into the city !!After a few moments my brother was not back...A girl said to me that Florian, my brother, was kidnapped by two men !!
I vainly looked for my brother for two hours...I started crying...I thought that it was my fault...The best brother of the world disappeared !!Suddenly, a car stopped in front of me and one man got out..I was scared and I ran as far as I could...
Hidden in a tree, I waited that the car disappears...I took the road back and I was thinking about what I will tell __ my mother about my little brother...I was in tears.In the stairway I took my time because I was afraid to see her reaction. Opening the door, I saw my brother who was playing card quietly !!I was relieved !!!In reality nobody had kidnapped Florian...He was simply hungry and then he came back __home ..Only if he knew how afraid I was...
Cliquez pour agrandir...

j'ai rafiné la correction. il y a pas mal d expressions francaises. comme in reality mais ce sont pas des fautes.

__= j'ai supprimé le mot ici
 
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