Funny english expressions

futureconomist

futureconomist

Free Palestine!
salam y'all,

I find some English expressions so hilarious. I literally cannot stop laughing when someone says 'I need to see a man about a dog' to mean that he/she is going to the toilet! Honestly, who came up with this phrase?


Are there any expressions you find ridiculous, funny or weird?



There's another one I read online: " the president was tired and emotional" actually means that the president was just drunk.
 
alicemoitronkil

alicemoitronkil

How about....

"Look what the cat dragged in"(speaking of an ugly woman or man walking in the place).
" i'm going to walk the weasle" (going for a piss)
"i need to spank the monkey" or "i'm going to strangle the feret" (you guys decide)

Et il y en a des dizaines d'autres...
 
alicemoitronkil

alicemoitronkil

Here are a few more...


Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die…

A friend is a person that knows you very well… And likes you anyway

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

You’re unique just like everyone else!

It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Life is a question of give and take…. You give…. I take

Life is a question of mind over matter… I don’t mind… and you don’t matter.

Everything is funny as long as it’s happening to someone else

I love work I sit on my ass looking at it all day

I’m on a 30-day diet; so far i’ve lost 12 days!!!!

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

1492: Native Americans discover Columbus lost at sea.

How is it that “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

Behind every woman, is a man staring at her behind.
 
alicemoitronkil

alicemoitronkil

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

After monday and tuesday – even the calendar says W T F

Those who critize our generation seem to forget who raised it!!

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

What would happen if you got scared half to death twice?

Seriously!....You have the body of a god…………


Buddha!!!!.....
 
P

PinkyLife

.
I have a hilarious joke for u guyz :D

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest...

...when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my
friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit.
As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers,
"That little bastard makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"


source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/A_little_rabbit_is_happily_running_through_the_forest#ixzz1PKnaxutH

Enjoy if u got it!
 
moonlight30

moonlight30

futureconomist à dit:
salam y'all,

I find some English expressions so hilarious. I literally cannot stop laughing when someone says 'I need to see a man about a dog' to mean that he/she is going to the toilet! Honestly, who came up with this phrase?


Are there any expressions you find ridiculous, funny or weird?



There's another one I read online: " the president was tired and emotional" actually means that the president was just drunk.
Cliquez pour agrandir...


a friend of mine is always using these words ,
I m chuffed to bits which means : very pleased
are you off your trolley = you are a nutter = loopy = they all have the same meaning which is : mad
 
brigsty

brigsty

££ KAN3JABNI $$
Truth of Life:
Husband makes a mistake, wife shouts & husband says sorry.
Wife makes a mistake, husbands shouts & wife cries; & husband again says sorry :D
 
brigsty

brigsty

££ KAN3JABNI $$
cuty-pie à dit:
Truth of life is:
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open : D

Happy wife Happy life Happy brigsty:langue:
Cliquez pour agrandir...

Chekbooks can avoid some mariage problem's and makes life happy ,yes, but you can find duos happy without money & duos unhappy with a lot of money ;)
 
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